“I cannot tell you how I am buffeted sometimes by temptation.  I never knew how bad a heart I have.  Yet I do know that I love God and love His work, and desire to serve Him only and in all things.  And I value above all else that precious Saviour in whom alone I can be accepted.  Often, I am tempted to think that one so full of sin cannot be a child of God at all.  But I try to throw it back and rejoice all the more in the preciousness of Jesus and in the riches of the grace that has made us ‘accepted in the beloved.’” Hudson Taylor

I have been reading the biography of Hudson Taylor – Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret.  I highly recommend it. 

Taylor wrote the words above after he had been a missionary to China for many years, founded the China Inland Mission, had led many to faith in Christ and still many more into a deeper walk of trust and obedience to Christ.  How could he say that he had a heart that bad?  Because he recognized what few recognize.  When the Scriptures say, “the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it,” it isn’t just talking about what we were like before we were saved. 

Many Christians pretend they have it all together as they try to hide from the reality of their own hearts.  They are afraid of not being accepted if they are truly known.  That’s too bad, because it keeps them from being open and honest with the One Who loves and accepts them as they are.  It also prohibits the Holy Spirit from doing the real work He wants to do in their hearts and lives. 

Even more interesting is to continue reading Taylor’s biography after he writes these words.  God used his honest admission to lead him to a new depth of relationship with Christ so that his life was completely changed.  Prior to this admission, we would have been impressed with Hudson Taylor.  After it, Hudson Taylor would have been even more impressive, but people were more impressed with Jesus than Taylor.  His life took on a character of godliness and joy that was unexplainable and contagious.